seems like things are slowly coming together. however, as i type each letter i worry it will all fall a part again. fear that i will lose myself in this mass of negativity. trying to stay positive, trying to live in the moment. hate planning for the future because it never happens the way it should. hate looking at the past because it makes me regret the decisions i’ve made. so i’m stuck in the present, dangling in limbo, waiting for the floor to raise up and catch me, stabilize me with a feeling of comfort and accomplishment.