My Life Starts Over

me in a random selection of words

Month: November, 2014

Reality

I think about nothing.

And when I think about nothing, I feel amazing.

Free.

I love it.

Floating through the world with endless possibilities and no worries.

Then it stops.

Reality kicks in.

And I remember bills, work, money, strengths, weaknesses. Loss.

Sometimes I feel like crying. For no reason.

Cry just to let it all out. The emotion, the pain, the feeling.

I hate feeling.

I hate caring.

It weighs me down.

And reminds me I’m human.

Poem: Regret

It’s been a while and I’m still whole.

Not in pieces like I thought I would be a couple of years ago.

It all faded before my eyes without me knowing.

I knew, sometimes, but you were always there to blind me,

with your crooked smile and empty words. I fell.

So hard. So easily. No one’s done that to me in a while, and I was hooked.

I hate me. Regret you. Can’t forget.

A never ending circle I’m trying to break.

 

Is it just me? Or are you also…

Never mind. That would be pointless. To think, hope you’re a disaster like me.

Fumbling through memories that snatch me away from reality as quickly as they bring me back.

It’s always the hurt one who is left with all the pieces, emotions, feelings,

unless someone tells me different.

I Want you. Hate me. Regret you.

A never ending circle I’m trying to break.

And then forget.

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